Psychology

Your mother said you should be ashamed of yourself. And you were. Call it a rite of passage. Call it a dare, peer pressure, wanting to seem cool, or just because you were a dumb kid, but when you wrapped your fingers around that first shiny item, palmed it, and walked away, the heart-pounding thrill of stealing from a store was incredibly powerful. So was the embarrassment of getting caught.

Why is it so hard to make lasting changes in our companies, in our communities, and in our own lives? The primary obstacle is a conflict that’s built into our brains, say Chip and Dan Heath, authors of the critically acclaimed bestseller Made to Stick.

The menu was enticing; the ambiance, perfect; the entrée, to die for. But then some yahoo at the next table got a call on his cell phone and he proceeded to loudly describe his latest medical procedure, ruining your appetite completely. You would’ve asked to be moved, but the only place available was near a table with three little hooligans, and the diners over there didn’t look very happy, either.

Failure is not an option. When you put your heart and soul into something – a project, a career, a program – you want everything to go right. You don’t want to lose. And you don’t want to give up because nobody wants to fail.

You’re about to enter a building. You push the door, but nothing happens. You push again. You look straight at a sign that says “PULL”, but you push one more time. The batteries on the remote control are dead, but you jam on the buttons a little harder while watching TV, hoping the channels will change anyhow.