Dwell on Your Success: It's an Accomplishment!

by: Pat Mussieux

As women entrepreneurs, one of the things we do all the time is to pass through our successes very quickly! Well, I’m here to tell you that this habit, this practice, must stop. It must stop here and it must stop now. Let me tell you why.

”The most powerful and predictable people-builders are praise and encouragement”. – Brian Tracy

What I listen for the most, from the women I coach and mentor, are words they speak that reflect their core belief about who they are and what they do. I spend a great deal of time coaching on vocabulary and self-talk.
When I was invited to the breakfast meeting for all the nominees in my region for the Canadian Woman Entrepreneur of the Year Award, I was really looking forward to seeing who else was there – and how I ‘compare’. I am no different than anyone else – I make comparisons, especially in situations that are so totally new and potentially intimidating like this. My first thoughts, when being nominated, were: Who am I? How could I possibly win something like this – I’m ‘just’ a solo-preneur…….and so on and so on. I know you can relate.

“It’s ok to be intimidated; it’s not ok to stay intimidated!” – Lou Tice

Those were the words that came to mind, almost immediately. I could hear Lou’s comments in my mind – the words he spoke to me so very often when he coached and mentored me. I went to that breakfast meeting with an open mind – wanting to see who was there, what did they do, how long had they been in business and so on. It was an insightful experience. I went to enjoy the moment – I really had no intention of following through with an application – because I didn’t think I could measure up.

Well, the breakfast meeting was an amazing experience and here’s what I learned.

1. Stop comparing the inside of you with the outside of someone else! Intellectually, I knew this. I have coached on this. Doesn’t mean I have perfected it. I had the opportunity to sit with a gal who had been nominated last year. She shared a ton of valuable information with me about the whole process and, in fact, because of her comments, I am now planning to not only apply for the award – but to win it! I most certainly will be attending the special dinner in Toronto. Stop the comparison game!
2. Be happy with who you are as you strive for what you want. I learned that you don’t necessarily have to ‘have arrived’ – the nominations are for a variety of categories and there is recognition for businesses from start-up to legends. Know that, if you are living your purpose and doing the work you have been called to do, you are making a difference.
3. It IS ok to be intimidated – but not ok to stay intimidated. I want to repeat that quote from Lou, as mentioned above, because it is so powerful. Everyone gets intimidated when starting something new, when meeting someone powerful or successful, when making huge changes in your life. It’s ok! Go with the feelings, but do not dwell in the negative.
4. Other people see you as ‘bigger’ than what you may see for yourself. You can be going along, day in and day out, doing your work and not realizing the impact you are having on the world. As a solopreneur, I found this quote to be especially relevant:
   
   “Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, ‘Make me feel important.’ Never forget this message when working with people.” – Mary Kay Ash
5. Learn to accept compliments (recognition and rewards)! When is the last time someone paid you a compliment and you, essentially, pushed it right back at them? We do this with our words: ‘what, this old thing?” or “well, that’s really easy for me’. When receiving recognition for something, learn to accept with grace – even if that means just saying the words ‘thank you’ and nothing else – no explanation required. This is huge!

It is critical, and essential, that we learn to accept praise, recognition and reward. This is especially true for those of us in a coaching and mentoring role. This practice raises our self-efficacy and self-confidence. It takes a lot of confidence and courage to continue to grow, develop and step up to a bigger game in life.

CONCLUSION

“The same questions follow every woman through girlhood and adolescence: Can I really do this? Will I get it right? Am I okay?” – Oprah Winfrey

Those are many of the same questions that have been going through my mind these past few weeks as I, first of all, wallowed in the nomination for the award – but, most certainly, as I came away from that breakfast experience. Can I do this? YES! Am I okay? – More than okay! I can now move forward with tremendous confidence and courage to leap to the next level.

Posted in: Personal Growth, Staying Positive